Allah merancang dengan CINTA
When I was young, very small at that time I wish I could be a doctor. So that I can help a lot of people. Yeah, I really wish I could be a doctor. I promises myself to struggle. I make a very very solid plan. This is my goal. I must achieved it. I planned to get 5As in UPSR so that I can further my studies to MRSM or SBPI or other high performing school like Sekolah Tun Fatimah. or SMS Seri Puteri.
But, my life didn't goes well as my planned. I dont go to any boarding school. I just stay with my parent. *fighting almost everyday with my sisters and brothers* Its not because my UPSR is bad, but it just because... I just wanna be here, at home. I WAS kind of person that dont like to wake up early and rushing to the toilet and stuff...
So then, when I was in form 3 I changed my ambition. I think I want to be an engineer. Ouch, that sounds good uh?? I applied for a sekolah teknik. First, I didn't get it. Kecewa tak payah cakap lah nokkk... I tried again for all school that I've ever dreamed before. I thought I wouldn't get it, because I applied kinda late. Tup tup, sampai letter kat rumah and walaawehh... I've been accepted to SMS Puteri!!!!!!!!!!
I was accepted to SMT Melaka for Mechanical Engineering. Alhamdulillah. It is among the best technique school. At first my planned goes well. Very well. BUT, I ended up with leaving that school after 2 weeks. *mau tak mengamuk mak ayah. They spend a lot of money* Err, that school was so tragic. The procedure. Argh, it took a very long time bcoz sekolah biasa dengan sekolah teknik berbeza jabatan. So, I need to go to jabatan pelajaran negeri and what so ever. nyusahkan mak ayah. sigh. I'm not going to school almost a month because of the procedure.
Hey sekolah lamaaa. Jannah datang balik nie woiiii.
So, the goal is set. Though my school is not a cluster or excellent school, I think I can successful as well.
The time has come. SPM results are released. Alhamdulillah I got what I want. Not too bad. but, I dont think I can be an engineer either a doctor.
When I filled the UPU form, I still put engineering as my first choice even I know I dont worth it. I wish there will be a magic. Yeah, I wish. But, my last choice was selected. Diploma in Planting Industry Management UiTM N9. Errr, toink toink =.="
Once again, nyusahkan mak ayah. Aishhh, really a troublesome daughter la. Im leaving UiTM after a semester. Why Jannah? Why are you being like this? Erm, sigh.
I REfilled UPU form. And, this is where a magic happen. I choose Diploma Perhutanan UPM even not as my first choice. Nunnn jauh di Sarawak. Why Jannah? Nak nyusahkan mak ayah lagi ke kalau balik nanti? Hemmm, sigh.
At the same time, I got an offer letter to further my studies in Lincoln University in Foundation in Science leading to Doctor of Medicine with scholarship. Allahuakhbar. But, my parent didn't allow it. I don't know why. So, I dont have any chance anymore to become a doctor either an engineer.
I woke up early that day. My heart beat fast. UPU result released. And... I got forestry!! weeee. Argh, hati dah berbelah bagi. Nak gie ke tanak. Oke, comes. Lets istikharah.
7 June 2012, I fly to Sarawak. New experience. New place. New friends. New mission. and new... interest. I fall in love. Eh, dengan forestry la. Tiba tiba ada satu semangat. Semangat untuk aku bangkit. Bangkit untuk terus berjuang. Berjuang untuk tegakkan agama, bangsa dan negara!! Walaawehh, macam main pisang goreng pulak versi A. Samad Said.
I used to dream about going to further my studies overseas. I'm kind of jealous with my friends that further their studies overseas. Playing with snow. Jaket bulu bulu. Not going back for raya. I want to have that feelings. They got a chance to have that feelings. They got a chance to gain new experience.
But now, not any more.
Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah and alhamdulillah.
Im very happy for what I am right now. I can play with snow as well. Malaysia have I-city. I can wear jaket bulu bulu as well. UPMKB yang indah permai tu ada dewan yang super duper sejuk. Sampai nak jawab exam pun susah. Not going back for raya?? Hemm, lemme think twice... hahaha. i told you. its not a good idea to celebrate raya without family.
Neway, I still hope that I can further my studies overseas. Maybe Aussie or NZ. Amin cepatt. Aminnnn ♥
When we are prepared enough on something, but at last it is not going as we planned. Kita frust menonggeng kan? Jangan pernah kecewa dengan rahmat Allah. Kadang kadang apa yang telah diberi oleh Allah lebih banyak daripada apa yang kita pinta. Manusia merancang dengan cita cita. Allah merancang dengan cinta. Put your trust in Allah.
*Jannah nak jadi Pegawai Hidupan Liar. Amin cepattt :)*