Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, and alhamdulillah. The first day on this very new year went smooth and very lovely. This year, I turned 20. No more teen. Duepuluh, alamak badan kesejukan, kaki kekejangan, bulu di belakang tengkuk tiba tiba tegak terasa seperti ada angin dingin bertiup kencang. Boleh naik satu tangga dah nie. Boleh pikir pasal kahwin dah nie. Eheh. But yet, not officially 20. Yes, gelak guling guling.
During my Usrah yesterday, despite feeling grateful with how our new year is celebrated, despite all the pucuk paku goreng, chicken curry, sausages and other snacks indulging my tummy- my heart was a lot like a melting jelly. I'm proud and happy with my "adik beradik" upon their current on- the- go move in DnT but I did feel pathetic towards myself because of such.
Last usrah, I met a very cute with a voice like silk kakak usrah, Kak Farhana, a pharmacist in Hospital Bintulu and married. And, niqabist. Ma shaa Allah. She is so freaking cute like a baby.
So, she told us to write down or draw what or who we are for the next 20 years. And most of us write or draw a wife and husband with a few kids or 'isteri solehah'. Kamonlah ande semue. Drama kahwin bakal bermula nie. Fuhh.
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| Disaster. |
Pegawai Hidupan Liar.
A zaujah of a great Imam.
The man(unknown) is syurgaku. keke
Those two kids are putera and puteri agama. Bakal murabbi agung.
Wahahaha, comel kan? Muntah. Oke, disini cerita bertukar kepada lebih serious. Indeed, every single person want the best for their life. The best son ever. The best friend ever. The best result ever. So, I plan to be the best mom and wife ever in the world. That is my plan. I don't know what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow. Allah does.
"O Allah, in You we have put our trust on and to You do we turn in repentance for unto You is the end of all journeys." 60:4
Actually, what is the point of our lives? To get the dean for every semester? or to get as many handsome boipreng as you can? or to worship Allah?
Tepuk dada, usap usap kepala. I can feel it. Saya mungkin tidak mempunyai jawapan yang dapat memuaskan hati ande semue. But, lets Allah talk...
And [mention, O Muhammad], when your Lord said to the angels, "Indeed, I will make all human upon the earth into a caliph." Al-baqarah, 2:30
"And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me." Az-zariyat, 51:56
Ohoi, bukan lah saya menyuruh ande semue beribadah sampai tinggalkan tanggungjawab di dunia. It would be your greatest feat if you excel in both fields... DUNIA dan AKHIRAT!
I'm searching for these verse. There, I found one page that instantly had my eyes scanned through it at once.
“Hanzalah telah munafik! Hanzalah telah munafik!”
Lantun Hanzalah pada dirinya. Kakinya mengerah cepat ke Masjid. Nabi pasti ada disana fikirnya. Riak ketakutan dan secebis penyesalan terlukis diwajahnya.
“Hanzalah telah munafik! Hanzalah telah munafik!”
Diulangnya beberapa kali. Sedang dalam perjalanan, Hanzalah berselisih dengan Saidina Abu Bakar As Siddiq. Saidina Abu Bakar terkejut dengan apa yang diucapkan oleh Hanzalah tersebut.
“Apakah yang telah kau katakan ini wahai Hanzalah?” Tanya Abu Bakar.
“Wahai Abu Bakr, ketahuilah Hanzalah telah menjadi munafik. Aku ketika bersama Rasulullah aku merasakan seolah-olah syurga dan neraka itu sangat hampir padaku. Aku menangis kerana takutkan neraka. Namun. Dirumah aku ketawa riang bersama anak-anak dan isteriku . Hilang tangis aku bersama Rasulullah. Aku telah menjadi munafik!” Ujar Hanzalah sambil teresak-esak bimbangkan akan dirinya.
Saidina Abu Bakar terkejut.
“Kalau begitu aku pun munafik. Aku pun sama denganmu wahai Hanzalah.”
Lantas, kedua-dua sahabat ini bersama-sama menemui Rasulullah. Tangisan tidak berhenti. Mereka benar-benar ketakutan. Takut pada Allah. Takut azab neraka yang sedia menunggu para munafik.
Hati mereka gementar.
Sesampainya di hadapan Rasulullah, Hanzalah bersuara.
“Wahai Rasulullah, Hanzalah telah munafik.”
Rasulullah bertanya. “Kenapa?”
“Ketika aku bersamamu ya Rasulullah, aku merasakan seolah-olah syurga dan neraka itu sangat hampir. Lantas air mataku mengalir. Tapi, dirumah aku bergurau senda keriangan bersama anak-anak dan isteriku . Tidakkah aku ini seorang munafik ya Rasulullah”
Rasulullah tersenyum. Lantas baginda bersabda,
“Demi yang jiwaku di tanganNya andai kalian tetap seperti kalian di sisiku dan terus berzikir nescaya para malaikat akan berjabat tangan kalian, sedang kalian berada di atas tempat tidur dan di jalan raya, akan tetapi wahai Hanzalah, ada waktumu (untuk beribadah) dan ada waktumu (untuk duniamu)”.
(HR. Muslim)
I bursted into tears. Great flood of tears.
O Rasulullah, what a super marvelous Murabbi you are. You truly are...
Ahlan wa Sahlan 2013.
Another year is completely deducted in our life. Be grateful for the mercy and love from Allah for the years we managed to live in.
Sincerely,
Nur Jannah.
