Sunday, 23 December 2012


Omaigad, McD dah bukak lah kat Bintulu. Sedapnya dapat makan 'Big Mac' ke 'Prosperity' ke... Omaigad, kena call teksi nie. Dah lame dah tak mkn McD nie sejak sejak dok Bintulu nie. Boleh lah aku gie hari hari lepas nie.

Me: Akak, jom kite gi makan McD?
Akak: Eh, Jannah tak tau ke apa yang terjadi kat Palestin sekarang?
Me: Tau je kak. Palestin kena serang lagi dengan Israel laknatullah kan?
Akak: A'ah... Jadi, apa pendapat kamu?
Me: Ish, tak patot betol la. Israel nie memang tak ada perasaan langsung! Tak layak panggil manusia. Sedih tengok Palestinian jadi macam tu. Sampai hati Israel buat macam tu. *dengan nada kesal berbaur sedih*
Akak: Habes tu yang kamu nak makan kat McD tu kenapa??
Me: Favourite saya tu kak...
Akak: Kamu tak kesian dekat rakyat Palestin?
Me: Kesian lah kak. Kesian sangatttt :"(
Akak: Then??
Me: *&^%$£*&

That conversation remind me one of the verse in Quran... Surah al-Mulk ends with a question. The simple question of course we have the answers, but still asked us to think, because we often forget to think.

'What do you think if the water you lost (in the underground earth), then who (besides Allah), which would bring you flowing water?'          
[al-Mulk: 30]

The talk between me and Akak make me think a lot. What should I do? How can I help them? McD is one of my favourite fast food. I do eat McD a lot before. 

Perlu ke nak boikot McD?

Actually, food boycott-ing is not that hard. If I want to boycott kedai Nasi Kandaq Pelita, I still can get it from other places. And, If I want to boycott all kedai Nasi Kandaq, I still can get it by make it on my own. Same goes to McD boycott-ing. It is not that hard to boycott as in Malaysia to eat burger, drink Coca-cola or eating fries is very very very easy. Barang nak masak tu banyak je pun kat supermarket. So, as a McD addict like me, it is not a problem anymore. You can party-ing eat that fatty, greasy, and unhealthy fast food easily without purchase or support any of McD products. So, the conclusion is tadela payah mana pun nak boikot McD nie...

Adakah ia menjejaskan Palestin kalau saya tak boikot McD?

Ehem... Tell you what. Even boycott-ing not give a very prompt and big impact to Palestine, but it still give an impact. It really does...

And Luqman said, "O my son, indeed if wrong should be the weight of a mustard seed and should be within a rock or [anywhere] in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Indeed, Allah is Subtle and Acquainted. 
[Luqman: 16]

Ya, that is what I'm trying to tell you... Ayat nie kata, sesuatu perbuatan seberat biji sawi yang berada dalam batu atau di langit atau di bumi necsaya Allah akan memberi balasan.*rujuk surah Luqman verse 16*

Allah Maha halus, Maha teliti. Ilmu Allah itu meliputi segala sesuatu bagaimana kecilpun. Remember my dear, sekecil mana pun kebaikan yang kita buat, atau sekecil mana pun kejahatan yang kita buat, IT IS COUNTED

Maybe this such boycott-ing idea not really help them in short-term, but it is really help them. Nanti Allah tanya apa yang kita dah buat untuk tolong saudara kita, ada lah jugak jawapan kita nak bagi. Not only McD we need to boycott, Nestle, Coca-cola, and so many other things. But, kita boikot apa yang kita mampu dan barang yang tiada pengganti jelaa. Macam McD tu tak makan pun tape kannn. No hal laa...

Just do anything that can help Palestinian atau saudara saudara seIslam kita walau kat mana pun mereka berada, Syria Burma. Doa banyak banyak. Boikot mana yang termampu. Facebook tanak boikot kee. Bukan Mark Zuckerberg tu Israel?? krikkrikkkrikk. Aha, facebook also one of the media which is can give us the latest news about anything happen or the way of da'wah. Tapi, macam mana pulakk yang upload gambar duck face tu?? krikkrikkrik. Ehem, tepuk dada tanya iman.  

O Allah, we ask Your help against the aggressive Zionists who have committed crimes (against the oppressed), who have violated the sanctities, and killed, and dispersed the oppressed in Palestine. 

Nur Jannah

Tak makan McD pun no hal laa. Kate nak kurus...  kiki


Friday, 21 December 2012

Allah, I know You are listening.

I don't know who actually I can talk to. Express my feeling to...
I feel like wearing a  mask of a happy care-free face whilst having such a crying, shivering heart inside :"(

I'm not feeling so well for this 2 weeks. I cried and cried the whole night. Cried in having this pain. Praying and desperately bursting everything to Allah. Thanks God for giving me these remembrance pain. I slept with swollen eyes and breaking heart.

I was upset. Very.
So many reasons for me to cry to.
For not knowing and experiencing as much.
Realizing that they will graduating and leaving me soon.
My kakak usrah. They will leaving me soon. Allah gave me this opportunity to know them. Such a great experience to know them. It is a very short time for me to know them. I realized, this is the time for me to upgrade myself. They are one of the most heart-soothing gifts from Allah to me.

I feel lonely though I'm there in the crowd. I miss mak ayah so much. Serious, I feel so lonely.
Astagfirullahalazim, sometimes I don't think my choice to study in here is right. Far from mak ayah really make this so-called tissue like heart hurt. It hurt my heart so much. Yes, It does. Lately, I had many conversation with mak ayah so much regarding to my pain.

Me: Ayah, sakit sangat. Nak balik.
Ayah: Cuti berapa lama? Tiket murah ka?
Me: Cuti 2 minggu. 
Ayah: Sabar dan tenang. Ayah, kalau ada duit ayah beli tiket ayah pi sana tengok.
Me: :"(

How much and how far do I actually able to define that the targets in my life are reached? It's all in the hand of Allah.. That's the reason for those tests from Allah. Teaching me and making be stronger, helping to erase if not much then a little sins I've done, In shaa Allah...

Victory in life is not only about our joyous cheers in academic. It is, howbeit as part of the many other pieces in the jigsaw of life we have in proceeding to the real life ahead: hereafter, akhirah. We have other roles in this life too...

Allah knows better what we deserve to get at certain time and condition. Things are written there, safely kept by Him..

Forgive me O Allah, for able not to all- the- time put my 100% faith in You..
Forgive me O Allah, for able not to all- the time being an obedient slave for You..
Forgive me O Allah, for able not to all- the- time try my best to reach for Your love.. 
Forgive me O Rasulullah, for able not to all- the- time prove that I'm one of your Ummah who deserve your love and syafaat...

Nur Jannah

After almost a month live without my spectacles and not seeing many things clearly, I already got mine.

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Ikhlas, it will come later.

I cried in having the feeling of missing my home so much. Cried in realizing that all this while, more often than not, I knew a single lady and a man that can pay a full attention and concern upon the way I dressed. The way I talk. The way I lived as Muslim. Lately, I feel so lonely though I lived in crowd. Busy with class. Still going to the forest even didn't have amali. 

It's not that my friends are treating me bad. They had been nice. They truly are... Nonetheless, at times I desperately need a company who understand what a girl, a student, a daughter, a friend actually feels. A girl who try her best to perform herself as a caliph and abid. A girl who bear all these at the same time in an age considerably very young.

I've tried and trying my best for things to be decided as much as what I've seek the guidance from Allah for. Why would there be times when I can be so firm and sure about it and there would be times I hardly accept things happening in between or after? Why at times I can feel my heart and soul as bold as a steel and at times it turns into a fragile jelly?

Alhamdulillah Ya Allah

At first, I'm not ikhlas doing that. I'm not ikhlas wearing a loose shirt and pants or baju yang gedabak besar. I'm not ikhlas wearing such a hot and troublesome tudung labuh. I'm forcing myself to do all those things. 

Some people might say. if you are doing something without ikhlas, then you are and get nothing. You just waste your time. Waste your energy.

"Bertudung nie perlukan keikhlasan."

"Saya mahu berubah kerana saya sendiri yang ingin berubah. Saya mahu melakukannya dengan ikhlas, bukan disuruh."

"Buat apa pakai tudung kalau hati tak betul."

Remember dear, wahai puteri agama... Allah has ordered all Muslim women must cover themselves either sincere or insincere, like it or not, someone else asked or arising from her own heart. Same as prayer, zakat, fasting, and all instructions or prohibition in Islam. But if she stubborn and does not cover herself, for reasons NOT SINCERE, DO NOT WANT TO HYPOCRISY and so, her actions in the sight of Allah makes SINNED physically and spiritually, or in other words, she sinned TWICE. 

Alhamdulillah, now I know what and how does 'tutup aurat' really mean. It's not only about wearing a tudung.

It's not a matter of ikhlas or not. It's matter of KEWAJIBAN. Believe me, ikhlas will come later. Put Allah in the very first place. Everything has their own reasons. Same goes to this. Why Allah ask us to really cover our aurah?? Yes, it really has its own reasons. Allah ask us because He know we able to do so... 

Forgive me O Allah, for able not to all- the- time put my 100% faith in You..

Forgive me O Allah, for able not to all- the time being an obedient slave for You..
Forgive me O Allah, for able not to all- the- time try my best to reach for Your love.. 
Forgive me O Rasulullah, for able not to all- the- time prove that I'm one of your Ummah who deserve your love and syafaat..

Nur Jannah Kaspuni

Lucky. Lucky. Lucky
Perhaps dapat tolong cover balik zaman zaman dulu punya kekurangan.